First thing's first. Pinch & a punch for the first day of the month.
I haven't been able to blog due to the busy month, there has been a birthday a day at least during October, My birthday, parents flying back and forth, parties, studying, camp and so on. Let me make it up, even though I should be preparing to go out now.
--------------- Drowning In Sorrow ---------------
These mornings, the moment I break into consciousness, I feel like I'm weighed down, and the force I push against gravity drains the energy accumulated even after a whole night of resting.
I reach for that one person that promised to be there to pull me up to only find him stirring the pain and pushing me closer towards the edge.
He anticipates my working mind, leaving no room for chance, as he uses the most powerful weapon, called jealously to revenge me, leaving me to only suffer in my own sorrow and pain silently..
What he doesn't know, won't hurt him.
I save him the guilty conscience by keeping it to myself, not hurting him. Then realizing later, I've already unleashed this burden to be shared with someone else more willing to take the pain away, 2nd him & another him.
My mind fights to comprehend and distinguish the difference between truth and sweet words. I fail clearly as I get crushed again and again.
Fool me once, shame on him. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Yet, Inevitably somewhere in the cursing I find myself still sparing some tenderness, and hoping he recognizes and reaches out again to me, but all shatters when the hopes vanishes in thin air.
I can only express this sorrow as drowning because it's suffocating, and somehow I am unable to relieve this suffering whilst more is being added. It's like unable to get a breath of air enough to live on fighting whilst being suppressed away from surface, deeper into the vast expanse of water.
I find it extremely difficult to release this hurt. One's that want to be there tends to be the people inflicted by their personal pain knowing the reason I'm hurt. It's suffering on the account that this problem cannot be shared without hurting one person or another.
AH FUCK got school tomorrow.. continue another day.
[imym]
Goodnights y'all !
I reach for that one person that promised to be there to pull me up to only find him stirring the pain and pushing me closer towards the edge.
He anticipates my working mind, leaving no room for chance, as he uses the most powerful weapon, called jealously to revenge me, leaving me to only suffer in my own sorrow and pain silently..
What he doesn't know, won't hurt him.
I save him the guilty conscience by keeping it to myself, not hurting him. Then realizing later, I've already unleashed this burden to be shared with someone else more willing to take the pain away, 2nd him & another him.
My mind fights to comprehend and distinguish the difference between truth and sweet words. I fail clearly as I get crushed again and again.
Fool me once, shame on him. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Yet, Inevitably somewhere in the cursing I find myself still sparing some tenderness, and hoping he recognizes and reaches out again to me, but all shatters when the hopes vanishes in thin air.
I can only express this sorrow as drowning because it's suffocating, and somehow I am unable to relieve this suffering whilst more is being added. It's like unable to get a breath of air enough to live on fighting whilst being suppressed away from surface, deeper into the vast expanse of water.
I find it extremely difficult to release this hurt. One's that want to be there tends to be the people inflicted by their personal pain knowing the reason I'm hurt. It's suffering on the account that this problem cannot be shared without hurting one person or another.
AH FUCK got school tomorrow.. continue another day.
[imym]
Goodnights y'all !
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