Holidays Over

Holidays are over now, today's the last day, unfortunately this wouldn't be considered an ideal way to finish my holiday, waking up too early, as this extra day of holiday was unexpected. Thanks to my punani, I woke up got into my uniform and halfway through breakfast I receive a call, and it went like this:

Me: Hey Lily
Punani: Hey, are you at school yet
Me: No, I'm still home eating breakfast, where you?
P: I'm nearly at school, but it doesn't look right..
Me: Oh you serious, good good go check! HAHA
P: f**k you, haha I'll call someone else, I don't wanna go in alone
Me: Ok, bye

So basically, there was no school, so my punani came over and we just chilled the whole day and went to city afterward. There's not much to blog today, because I'm suppose to go sleep now cos I'm dead tired. 3 hours of sleep in 3 days, thats pretty fcuk™ed. Anyways, hope this makes you happy Bonniie, because this is for you baybay.
Hope everyone had an awesome holiday and getting ready for another busy term/semester or whatever. Well looking forward to finishing school early tomorrow =]

Goodnight blog readers,
Cynthia

Just another dime

Gallery - Mario Vazquez

I strongly advise you to click on the link and download it if you do not have this song on your playlist. This song has the entire package; the lyrics, the music, the voice and I just loving every bit and part of it. 3 years since I had this song and I still cannot get enough of it, and so I assume neither will you.
The song lyric reminds me of this one quote:

One man's trash is another man's treasure

I'm sure you've heard of it somewhere, but this quote has been and still remains as one of my favorites, for one reason because it's true.

Well tonight, I was suppose to blog about this entire concept of the above quote, but I got carried away with the movie. Mickey Blue Eyes (1999) movie, recommended to me once and its been a while =) made my night. Anyways I will continue this blog when I get the time, meanwhile, I hope all you blog readers are keeping warm and enjoying what's left of the holidays if you are on them or getting back to uni or I don't know just partying it up!
Enjoy and goodnight for tonight,
Cynthia

Like a Rose

Like a rose - A1

if you haven't heard it, it's quite an old song, but remains top on my list. So check it if you haven't already.

So I was just talking to Sinner about Roses & it reminded me of this thing I heard ages ago, most of you probably have heard it but I find it extremely cute, so let me write it out before it slips out of my mind. Okay, I have no idea how to start it, I just wrote one line and it looked really out of place so I backspaced, maybe I'll write it in a form of short story.. See how it goes..

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Against the chilling breeze, her cheeks flustered and he gently brushes his thumb across her soft cheeks, wiping away the little drops that dampened her face and glistened her eyes. Time does not wait for anyone. As each painful minute passes by, she tries to savor each and every moment of what's left they have between them. In the silence, they stood, one hand in his, and her other one grasping tightly onto the golden plastic decorated cellophane that wrapped around the bouquet of 12 red roses given to her that evening as a gift.

"I promise to love you until the last rose dies," he whispered as he leaned closer to plant a kiss her forehead, then turned and walked away. She wanted to hold onto his warmth, his last presence, his last gaze and inhale him into her one last time, his cologne familiar and it excited her inside, but she couldn't. The warmth of his kiss still lingered, but he was already out of sight.
Unable to react, unable to comprehend, unable to chase after him. She knew he was gone.
Speechless and confused, their love so clear and transparent, she knew him like she knew the back of her own hand, but why does he feel so foreign now, so distant, so far and it crushed her because she knew something was not right.
She aches as he takes a part of her as he leaves, her world in slow as she watches herself fall apart. I love him, she murmurs, the sudden wind gushes by and deafens her words. Roses never last more than two weeks and neither will his love for me.. She felt a sudden tightening in her throat, her breath shallows and she starts to fight back the forceful tears that rushed down her face again. Her emotions overpowers her physical strength and she's left crouched and violently controlling and fighting away her tears.

The roses started to die one by one, until there was one left, the rose remained as a red, just as beautiful as the day she was presented with them. Curious but afraid that if she touched it, it would turn into ashes before her eyes..

Truth was, he handed her 12 roses that night, 11 real ones, 1 fake and vowed to her that he would love her til the last rose dies..
& of course all you smarty pants know the last one won't die..

Okay, so my 'smarty pant' friend said, let me quote:
Lily: Or you can interpret it as the last rose is just as fake as his love for her.
Real humor huh =.='

Awwes, all too sweet, haha as you could see I got lazy towards the end. My truth is, halfway writing I realized I could of just wrote it in one sentence and two lines. Wasted my effort. ANYWAYS time to sleep & I don't want to keep Sinner up with me as well. So let's all rest. Goodnights and good rest blog readers.

Love,
Cynthia

道星

You're still a stranger to me, still foreign,
But I'm addicted now, boy you ain't borin`
This thing you do to me, tests new heights,
Along with the flow & whatever feels right,
I'm loving how you taking it slow,
The mystery that follows not being able to know,
Not knowing the direction of how this will go,
Now knowing the speed of how fast it'll grow,
There' still a part of me you haven't met,
Cos the introduction might be hard to get,
Because it's not something I can easily forget,
My heart is damaged, not what you'd expect,
But I have tried every remedy,
Nothing seems to have yet worked with me,
I've been there done that, met the worst,
but its' expected there'll always be a first,
All I need is your patience and understanding
Cos if you wanna be close you gotta lend a hand in,
Give me some time to let the wounds heal,
Cos I've risked it all and it felt surreal,
Love's a gamble, are you game to deal?
I'll give it all just to relive and feel,
& now I'm caught in a state of infatuation,
Perhaps a new chapter in creation

No Promises

I know they say people who make excuses will always be failures, but seriously I have had no time whatsoever in these past days to submit any blogs with my daily routine consisting of waking up in the late afternoon and rushing out of the house by 4pm or 5pm. My first meal is usually one's third meal of the day, then I go busy with whatever I am busy with (usually making the most out of my holiday). I then get home at 12-2am and somehow I will manage to kill two hours before I snooze off to sleep, and before I know it, I'm back in the routine.

So maybe you will now understand the reason I have not been able to blog, however two days ago I woke to an eye infection, known as conjunctivitis usually this is obtained through unhygienic contacts with the eye. So now I cannot wear contact lens for this upcoming week, meaning I have to go shopping for optical glasses and I have my eyes set on these nice Bvlgari pink&black glasses, quite pricey but it's nice.
The downside is I can no longer forcefully strain my eyes as I so often do and due to the fact I am also currently half blind, going out is a struggle, leaving me to my one and only option left, to sleep... not that it's a problem.
Daddy came back this morning, so I had to pick him up from the airport then we went breakfast, this is the earliest I have woken up since my holiday started beside one morning I went for a jog in the morning but somehow found myself eating Maccas` HotCakes at Sin's apartment within the first hour of departure. So enough of my convincing excuses, let me blog.

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Would you give it all just to taste my love?

There has been some thoughts that has been stimulating my mind for the past nights, the usual questions without answers, problems without solutions, pain without ease and even with solution, no actions can be taken. Simple aimless circling thoughts leading nowhere.
At every possible alone moment my mind drifts back and resumes with the continuing thoughts where I left off.

I stripped into the shower the minute I got home from dance the other night, my body had dried sweat and the clothing sticky against my bare skin. I let the running water in the shower warm up and steam the room before I stepped out of my thongs and onto the cold tiles. My body ached and I was exhausted but I could finally breathe again. The day was long and nothing else at the moment formed in my thoughts besides him and my bed, I laughed at how ironic it was for me to place 'him' and 'my bed' together at the same time, but that was all I could bring myself to think about. I watch the hot running water wash away my day and swirl away beneath me, I felt lighter as I step out, got dressed and slip under my covers. I left the window in my bedroom open and occasionally I'd feel a light chilling breeze brush by, the room is dark and the only glimpse of light was from the silent moon ray shining through. I find myself unable to pull away from the dark thoughts as I lie solitude in my empty bed. The nights haven't been as cold, but I still wrap myself with blankets in hope to feel warmer inside, I let my mind roam around recalling words he spoke to me, my memory fixated on his love words and it plays along with the melody of the songs as my eyes closes and I leave behind it all into my own world.

The feelings of missing him is like being homesick, because I have found my own little home in him, comfortable and at ease. Home, being a place where I would feel familiar to no matter the physical alteration, a place where I'll always miss. It doesn't mean I can be there all the time but I will return one day to feel it all over again.

Life is like a roller-coaster and I refuse to be a spectator, I want to live life knowing I have lived at it's fullest. I've taken the risk with him, been at the peak and skidded down so fast I was scared to open my eyes and see what I've been missing out, only when I reach the bottom and stopped have I realized what I was blinded to see. I'd give it all up just to taste it all again, taste the love that took me higher and made me happier than any drugs could. Question is, will you give it all just to taste mine?

I miss hearing his voice, deep and caring as each word penetrates deep within. He's the only person that could make me feel alive, he floods me with emotions and it overwhelms me, but at all time I keep the possible notions that it could all just be too good to be true when he tells me 'I love you', my heart skips a beat like a scratched CD, I'm damaged at heart but I feel refreshed again. His promises tantalizes me and keeps me holding onto to what may just be a mere illusion, and that's what this love has become.
This morning I woke up, afraid and confused, days like this I miss him, I need him, I want him but I don't have him. I'm afraid of not loving him anymore because I loved being in love with him, I'm scared to lose what we've shared because I know it's real, I know there's something special between us, but how long can I possibly stick around the sideline and watch him enjoy life without me? How long before another guy comes and sweeps me off my feet? How long will I have to wait til he realize I am who he want and need? How long before.. it's all too late?
I don't know how to say it to him or when to ask him, because every time I try I choke on my own words, my chest tightens and my breath shallows. Some days it's irrelevant, some days it's crucial, but it doesn't change how much I need to feel his love again, how much I am still addicted to it. Please love me more or else I'll be gone, I don't want to leave but I feel like I'm fighting and racing myself to keep you and I'm few steps behind, I don't want to let go but I forgot how it was to be loved again. I miss you. I miss love.

Goodnight blog readers,
Cynthia